Another Big Step in a List of Big Steps...

A prosthetic eye, after a while, is covered with a residue that causes it to become dull and somewhat dirty-looking. Therefore, every 3 months, we are supposed to take it out, put it in a bowl of hot water and scrub it with a lotion-free kleenex until the shine is returned. Up until now, the due date to clean Maya's prosthesis had fallen at the same time as doctor's appointments or appointments at the ocularist, where they removed the eye and cleaned it themselves. Therefore, until today, we'd only had to do it once, which I have to be honest and say it has been a blessing. One year ago, when we did it, Maya screamed so loudly, for so long, she fought us so hard and Ella was so traumatized by the whole experience that we were scared to have to do it again.

But we found ourselves at the 3 month due date with a dull-looking eye and no imminent appointment where someone else could do the job for us. So tonight, as Robbie read Maya a bedtime story, he noticed she was rubbing her fake eye and he asked her if something was wrong. She said her eye was a little itchy and that there was "guck". Robbie asked her if she wanted us to take it out to clean it, that it would take the "guck" away and make it all shiny and new. At first she hesitated but then she said, "Okay Daddy." So I got up, got the bowl of hot water and the little suction cup we use to help take the prosthesis out and we all gathered on Maya's bed. I held her left hand, Ella held her right hand (and also kissed it) and Robbie proceeded to take the prosthesis out. Maya lay still, looked up and before we knew it, Robbie had popped it right out.

Maya then ran straight to the mirror where she inspected her empty eye socket and I cleaned the prosthesis. We all took the time to look carefully inside her eye, including Ella who is always so fascinated by it. We talked about what a beautiful job Dr. S did when she removed Maya's eye and how beautifully pink her skin is. We looked at the prosthesis and talked about how beautiful and real-looking it is and how much love went into making it. Maya then said, "I'm the only one in our family who has a fake eye, aren't I?" We answered yes and she went on to say, "I love my fake eye. I'm so happy they took my other eye out. I'm really proud of my fake eye."

As I finished cleaning her prosthesis, Robbie ran downstairs to find a book a friend of mine had sent to Maya after her surgery. It's a book called "My Fake Eye" and it tells the story of a little boy and his experience getting his fake eye. When we returned to Maya's bed, Ella grabbed the book and sat on her own bed mesmerized by the pictures as Robbie and I proceeded to put the eye back in. Maya once again looked up, lay calmly and waited while Robbie gently placed it back in. It only took a few seconds and it was done. Maya then gave all of us hugs and her face beamed with joy and pride.

We then sat together the 4 of us and read the book together. We are so proud of our two beautiful daughters. I am so incredibly thankful that Maya has accepted what happened and seems to be growing with pride and confidence instead of with shame and fear. I'm thankful for the family that we are and that we have been able to accompany Maya through this journey with open hearts and much love.

This is a big step for Maya who now knows that taking out her eye is "no big deal!"